Cawl Me Crazy

I'd really like to have a crow friend

At the risk of sounding insane — and, at this point, who even cares anymore, but still — I’ve become more and more interested in making friends with crows. It doesn’t have to be an entire murder. I mean, a girl can certainly dream, but I should probably manage my expectations. Plus, from what I’ve read, engaging a whole group of crows at once is not recommended for beginners.

I know a lot of people find crows annoying, loud, maybe a little creepy. The same argument could be made about me. I think they are fascinating creatures — smart, social, plus they hold grudges against those who have wronged them. When it comes to being crow curious, I’m not alone. I found out there’s an entire section of TikTok called CrowTok where people share their experiences with their neighborhood crows.

I do personally know someone with a crow friend. She’s known him for years. I’ll admit, the first time she told me about him, I really wondered if she had completely lost her mind.

“How do you know it’s the same one?” I asked.

“I can tell,” she said, as if it was completely obvious. I worried I had offended her.

After the initial shock wore off, I came to understand it as a gentle and really lovely connection between two worlds, two souls, and that was something that really appealed to me.

Making new friends is always tricky business. I admit I haven’t really tried all that hard with the crows. I smile at them, maybe offer a quiet “hi, friends” when I see them hanging out. In general, I try to appear as friendly and non-threatening as possible, but, according to my limited research, that’s not going to cut it.

“hello?”

Those who have successfully infiltrated the crow community advise that food helps — the right kind and not too much. Being chill is a must — no loud “cawing,” for example, though some experts recommend a special signal like a unique call or whistle to identify yourself. There are all kinds of tips and tricks, success and horror stories to be found when you start looking into it. When it comes down to it, though, the key is building trust — a process that requires a great deal of time, patience, and routine — all things many humans struggle with under normal circumstances if they can be bothered at all.

Whether it’s crows or cats, snails or ladybugs, I’m finding it increasingly comforting to concentrate on carrying myself in the world as just one of its many creatures — among all and above none, peacefully coexisting and honoring each other’s unique approach to life on Earth. It’s not always easy, especially when it comes to having words with a wasp or being surprised by a spider. Still, I have an increased desire to slow down, to connect, and to learn; to be like my friend — a soft, gentle soul who regularly visits with a crow and never gives it a second thought.

Call me crazy.

This essay originally appeared in my column in the June 12, 2025 edition of the Perry Herald in Perry, NY